PURIM NEWS

"Baruch Hashem" Usage at Epidemic Levels, Baruch Hashem
by David Friedman
BROOKLYN, NEW YORK — [TheKnish.com] Pyschologists and rabbinic leaders are warning about the prevalence of Honorifics and Frum Idiom Confusion Syndrome in the Jewish community, bli ayin hara.

Over the past several years the number of honorifics and superstitous idioms added to the frum vocabulary has been increasing exponentially, k'niyna hara. This has caused some confusion to occur, baruch Hashem, especially to those with more simple minds, kein yirbu.

Typically the syndrome starts with overuse of the terms, b'chasdei Hashem, then quickly turns to usage of the terms in the completely wrong place, shlita. In more advanced cases, nisht auf Shabbos geret, idioms foreign to the frum world, l'havdil elef havdalos, are used as well, praise the L-rd.

In addition to the number of such terms, zy gezunt, the prevalence of usage of such terms has increased exponentially as well, yasher koach. For example, 20 years ago, mamesh, the term "baruch Hashem", was limited to a portion of Maariv that most people did not say, gezundheit. Today it constitutes 23% of a typical frum male's spoken word and 27% of a typical frum female's, im yirtzeh Hashem by you. It has been added to most kosher menus, thank you - come again, and has replaced "all of the above" on standardized tests given to yeshiva bochrim, lo aleinu.

Family and friends of those afflicted with this disease, chas v'shalom, are advised to use caution when asking simple questions such as "How are you?" This may cause the afflicted person, zt"l, to reply with a stream of unrelated frum idioms that usually have nothing to do with how they are doing, may Allah strike you down with the strength of 1000 elephants. The best option, in the opinion of the professionals, Hashem yinakem damam, is to stick a tehillim in front of them, ad meah v'esrim. This should keep their mouths busy until such time as a permanent cure is found.